I sat facing the new VP, waiting for our meeting to start - and wondering whether I was about to get fired from my Director of Engineering role  Either that, or I was about to get lectured, hammered, chided, and/or warned,  for not being an experienced enough manager to suit him. After all, he had just been brought in to replace the founder of our start-up ("time to have some professional management now that the big company has bought you guys") and  I was in my late 20s and even younger and less management-experienced than the founder.   I was expecting the worst.  

Then something really interesting happened - the VP, by his actions, simply expected the best.   He started talking, got right to work.  He talked about how we needed to create strategic technology and product plans for the next two years and take the budgeting to the next level.  He matter-of-factly relayed what kind of format he liked to see, key items to cover, and when we needed to have the first review meeting on a draft.  

He did NOT say anything like (doubting)  "Now go see if you can figure out how to do this."  Or  (condescending) "I know you haven't been doing this long, but you've got to learn it."  Or (tough guy) "I'm waiting for you to prove to me that you deserve this job for the longer term."   He may have been thinking any one of those things - but he didn't say them!

I had been steeled for any of those approaches, and just anticipating being lectured or talked down to, I had already started feeling unsure of myself and deflated, and wondering how I was going to pull off whatever he asked of me.  Instead he laid out what we needed to do, with an approach and tone that essentially conveyed, "... and of course you can do this job just fine."  His handling of me was even-keeled, one adult-business-person collaborating with another toward a common goal.   His approach communicated that he "expected' the best.  By treating me the way he did, he actually motivated me to go give this new assignment everything I had, with a positive feeling toward a challenging and even scary new task.

Clearly, of course, he had power as my direct manager.  But very importantly, the way he charged me with this work strongly conveyed a different kind of "authority" to ask this of me - via a second aspect to his "expecting".   He did NOT say "And do you think you could get this done by next week?"   Or "It would be really helpful to have this done by Friday."   Or "Let me know when you could have this ready."   No.  He said "We need to meet next Tuesday to review a first draft, so that we can iterate and be ready to publish a first version to the corporate planning board by the following Friday.  Let me know if you need anything."   He simply "expected" me to get the importance and find a way to do my work to help meet the organizational goal. 

I can hear some readers saying, "But of course executives all talk like that, they get to command people."  Well, no.  I've heard plenty of executives undermine their own authority (including me at times) by coming across as "asking pretty please" rather than "matter-of-factly expecting".  I have heard Directors sit in a meeting and say "Do you think you could try to get that done by Friday?"  -- related to a goal that they had told me privately was really important to them!   If an executive doesn't think a goal is important enough to state it strongly, why should anyone else think it matters enough to push for?  

I can also hear the project managers among us saying "Yeah, he could do that, he had the line authority to make you do it by whatever deadline he wanted."   Yes, he did.  But I realized that he got way more out of me than grudging compliance because of how he "expected" me to meet this important goal.  I actually got highly energized by being treated as a real adult manager by this experienced corporate VP.  My goodness - not only does he think I can do this, I'm part of his team getting this really important info ready for Corporate (and I don't want to disappoint him.)

So why am I writing about this experience?   I believe there are lessons here for all of us in how we talk to others to get what we need - how we go about "expecting" both high quality work and commitment to important goals.  

On the goal/ deadline front:   That VP knew exactly why he needed it done by a certain date and "owned" the importance of it by how he firmly communicated the goals.   How often do we as project managers say things like "Do you think you could have those resource estimates done by next Friday?" [pretty please?]    To me, that form of delivery, even if meant to show sensitivity to other demands on the person's time, can end up undercutting our own role and influence to get what we truly need for our projects. Instead, how about "Next week the management team meets to decide resource allocation among the top 10 projects.  To be able to make a case for our project, I need a draft resource plan by Friday.  Would Friday or Monday be better to meet and review a draft, so we can be ready to lobby for the people you need?"

On the work-quality front:  If someone is not performing to the level we need, do we criticize or lecture or subtly convey our doubts or do a very negatively toned performance review?  Or do we "expect" the best by default and convey, by how we discuss the work at hand and set strong positive expectations, that we know they have it in them?   If we're not sure how well they'll handle a new challenging activity, do we communicate that we "expect" the best of them despite their lack of experience?  Or do we make them feel beaten before they start, because we communicate our uncertainty about their abilities?   

I can't re-iterate strongly enough how the VPs treatment of me back then truly made me step up, eagerly take on something that absolutely scared me to death at the time, and commit to meeting his goals with a positive attitude.   This interaction has stayed with me strongly over the years.   It comes to mind when I'm paying attention to my own personal effectiveness, to stand up in the best possible way for performance and commitment.   

This is my experience.   I'm curious to know whether this resonates with you, or whether you think I'm all wet.   I hope you'll comment, tell me I'm either right on or crazy, and/or relate ways you've seen PMs or executives get the best possible performance from people by how they interact, ask, expect!

 Cinda Voegtli

Helpful related links to relevant resources

• Speaking Up - How to Make Your Case
• Getting Relevant to Get Results
• Picking the right management tools for your environment

Comments

Great article! I think what further made the VP you reference a great leader was they knew exactly how far they could push you in your abilities and time. And as always it isn't so much as what is said as how it is said.

Great!!! I think, respect, responsibility and reliability is the key word behind all success. Then recognition. It is good article for every one

It is a great article indeed... I feel the other options that anyone would have thought being at the position of VP would show the weaker understanding of the potential in any resource. Motivation will surely help not only to get the task done on time but with quality that lasts longer. The leader if clear of what he needs, then expecting will become easier.

Thank you for this article! We should always expect the best of others and of every challenging situations. Doing that we actually make that come into existence. I think something similar happened in your case.

The kind of leaders you mention are a dying breed it seems due to all the cut-throating and politics that enters into project management these days. I have managed projects for more than 30 years and used find many of these positively motivated leaders that encourage and support their subordinatees. Nowadays it seems more rare at a time when you would think you should find more of them! But you are right on with your comments!

Cinda, enjoyed your writeup. I found myself comparing my own style to the "expectant" style you described. I tend to go with the "pretty please" approach because, as you said, I know how much other work they have to do. But I see now (and have seen in action), if done respectfully and straightforwardly, simply stating your expectations and expecting a professional response can go a long way.

Thanks for all the feedback, glad it resonated. And let me say right away, that when I write about this stuff, I'm reminding myself too! I don't pull off the VP's approach all the time.... Stress, uncertainty, hard deadlines, desire to convey support for the overloaded people who work for or with us can lead us to not always being our "best selves" in areas like this.

Which is another reason this has stayed with me so strongly - my recollection of this VP is that he WAS very consistent in how he dealt with us. He was always very sure of what needed to be done and why, and had consistently strong expectations for his managers, and communicated those expectations in a way that kept us serious about the goals and strongly pushing to meet them, while still feeling respected and supported.

I like your last summary statement, Brian - "if done respectfully and straightforwardly..." Yes, we can be respectful of people without going so far to "pretty please" that we seem to sacrifice the validity of what we're asking for!

I think this was a very insightful article and to think you still remember the VP's delivery and coaching of you as a younger exec. to get you to achieve the organization's goals.

This technique is actually transferrable especially when parenting teens! I daresay every leader-manager can learn from this approach as beating people over the head and stressing them out may achieve goals but with the wrong kind of motivation. Also, appearing feeble and indecisive in pointing people to the bottomline, only makes them perceive the objectives as not as important and immediate.

Very refreshing article!

You can say the same thing to two different people and get very different results. Similarly, the same thing can be said by two different people to the same person and the outcomes can be very different. Ultimately, i think it is rooted in values."He may have been thinking any one of those things ?". I dont think so. It works both ways.Manager to subordinate. Subordinate to Manager. If you can transcend the manipulative element in these relationships, WOW.

This is a very good article. Worth reading...