One of my favorite courses to teach is negotiating for results.  Currently I'm facilitating an online discussion about management and leadership.  I thought it would be interesting to share a number of different comments, attitudes, and approaches that participants are posting:

"I have known some good negotiators in my day, and I wouldn't rank myself up there with the best. I do okay negotiating with someone with whom I have a strong working relationship when there is mutual trust. In situations when I am negotiating over finances, such as with a vendor, I'm not that comfortable. I think the overarching story I tell myself is that I'm not a good negotiator and I don't like negotiating…."

“Negotiation is part of daily routine, whether it's work or on the personal front. During negotiations I focus on the issue and my goal to end up with win-win situation. Recently I had to negotiate terms with a consultant group and after a lot of back and forth we both agreed upon the terms. What helped me a lot was seeing things from the consultant's perspective. A number of times I seek advice from experts or experienced people before I launch into negotiations. One of the most common topics of negotiation is schedule. I usually get pushed back to make a more aggressive schedule but I have to convince the team to look at things with practical eyes. The goal is not to have a schedule to make it look good; the goal is to make a realistic schedule that can be achieved.”

“Some stories that I tell myself, it will all just work out if I really work hard, and if I am just more patient. I strongly believe that you can achieve a lot if you get out there and face the challenges. I gain motivation from remembering great accomplishments and positive events. I know that a discussion/negotiation needs to consider the needs of the other party. If the end result is too unbalanced, or one person/company is burdened by the decision, it may leave a bad feeling and the inability to do repeat business with me and my team.”

“I'm still a very novice negotiator at work. To lead and manage my team members, I really try to communicate frequently with the team and check in and see how they are doing on their tasks and find out if they need more time. I try to see if they need any help with the work they are doing and try not to overburden them. I feel that knowing I want to work for them instead of trying to manage them helps motivate/lead my team members. I really am not their boss but just a co-worker, and I try to walk that fine line and not go into boss mode. When I negotiate, I try to have as much evidence as possible to state my case. To do so, I first state what I think should happen and give a good explanation of why we should go with what I think. I always ask what other people think to make sure they get to voice their opinion and not feel I left them out. The story I tell myself when I negotiate is that my opinion may not be the best, but to get enough feedback and input from my co-workers, we can together come up with the best opinion. I really try to not put myself first but try to get others to feel as if they are leading/contributing to the project.”

“Sometimes I find myself wrapped up in details. One thing that I have learned is really stepping back and taking a look at the bigger picture. Otherwise, when I get too caught up in all the details, I forget about the main reason, what are we trying to really accomplish. I ask myself what the big picture is and have also noticed how helpful it is knowing what I want the end result to be. Another thing I do is ask myself to see it in his/her shoes. How would I react, positive or negative? It’s conducting a quick risk analysis before I open my mouth.”

“I think I am a good negotiator, I am pretty confident in the work that I do and I am not afraid to communicate my ideas and put them out there where my work is concerned.  I will also be the first to admit when I am wrong but do take some small pleasure in being right when I am.   I also know that I am not perfect and accept all criticism of my work product.  I tell myself that all questions are valid and should be asked and that my opinions regardless of what they may be are important and should be stated to spark conversation and discussion.”

“Negotiation always had such a bad rap in my mind, as it would bring up ideas of a win-loose situation or a situation where someone gets screwed out of something that should have been theirs but for the skills of a cunning negotiator. I always thought negotiation would be very challenging for me because I’m pretty timid, hate talking about money, and believe in fairness; but I’ve read a few books on negotiating that have changed my opinion on it as I’ve come to realize that it does not have to be win-loose, and that being a good negotiator does not mean you take things from people who deserve them. I’m the kind of person who likes to have a lot of information before I make a decision and like to feel that I know exactly where I stand and am making a completely informed decision. I have found this information gathering invaluable in negotiating. Knowing your alternatives not only gives you leverage, but more importantly, it keeps you honest.”

“Negotiating is a skill that with experience one becomes better at. I negotiate everyday whether in my personal life or at work. It is important to stay on course when negotiating. It is easy to lose sight of what is being negotiated especially if one party gets emotional. I always look for a win-win situation. I want the decisions we make to be fair and not cause animosity down the road. I get everyone involved in the decision making process and use pro/con worksheets to help the negotiating along. Sometimes when things are written down in front of you it is easier to make your point and again stay on track. I think the tools I have used in the past have made me a successful negotiator. When going into a negotiation I make sure that I have all my i’s dotted and t’s crossed. When I feel confident about my point then it leads to better results.”

Here are some of my own thoughts on this topic.  I took a negotiating course 20 years ago, and it changed my life! As that instructor said, if you get only a 5 to 10% better outcome from each transaction as a result of improved negotiating skills, think of the benefits that accrue over your life time. It's quite significant.

Negotiating is fun, and it is productive. As you develop your negotiating skills via learning and practice, people come to respect you more rather than perceiving that you are challenging their professionalism. Everything is negotiable, both at work and in everyday lives. It is in our best interests, and for your team and organization, that you embrace negotiating as a requisite skill and implement it dutifully. Take a negotiating course, read the books, change your attitude to apply the concepts, especially win-win, be prepared, and patience, believe you ARE a good negotiator (of course each of us can improve but that's another story), ..., and you will be grateful every day that you made this shift.

One of the principles of effective negotiating is to go for win-win. That should be your only acceptable outcome or else you have the option not to negotiate, especially if the status quo is an okay alternative.

Another key priniciple is being prepared for a negotiation, knowing both yourself and the other side's options, as well as starting and desired end points. If you are being asked to negotiate without this information, you are definitely at a disadvantage. Then you need to ask lots of questions and take more time to fully explore needs and options before rushing to a judgment—an outcome that could have far reaching negative consequences. I suggest everybody train themselves to remain firm in applying the ten rules of negotiating.

I've seen it over and over again how simply asking for something more during a discussion results in a better outcome. The other party can always say no, and no harm is done. They may say yes or counter propose, and each side is happy with the outcome. We owe it to ourselves and our partners to engage in these negotiations.

Randy Englund, Englund Project Management Consultancy

www.englundpmc.com

 

Comments

Sent: Tuesday, November 03, 2009 5:58 PM
To: 'Randy Englund'
Subject: note on your blog post
Importance: High

Hey, Randy,

Noticed you mentioned the "10 rules of negotiation". Is there a link you could include to those, or update the blog to include? I wanted to see what they are and I'm betting others would too!

Thanks

Cinda

---------
Hi Cinda,

A mindmap with the Ten Rules is available for downloading on my web site, www.englundpmc.com, in the “Offerings” tab.

Randy Englund, NPDP, CBM
Executive Consultant
Englund Project Management Consultancy
http://www.englundpmc.com

Hi,

I am looking for any books on effective communication. Can you please refer something that is practical.

Regards,
Reece

Reece,

If you're looking for one of the best, and classic, books on negotiating, go to Fisher and Ury’s _Getting to Yes_. Fisher has also co-authored _Difficult Conversations_.

The texts we're using for Management, Leadership, and Team Building in a Project Environment at the UCI Extension are Zachary Wong's _Human Factors in Project Management: Concepts, Tools, and Techniques for Inspiring Teamwork and Motivation_, as well as James Surowiecki's _The Wisdom of Crowds_. There are, of course, many other good books on effective communication (including my own!), but these books I've mentioned are especially helpful within project environments.

Randy Englund, www.englundpmc.com